anonymoususer

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Should we think more about EA dating?

Glad to hear you think it's a good idea! How do you feel about events such as speed-dating / singles events versus websites?

Should we think more about EA dating?

Fair point. Overall I think I'm more positive about singles events / speed dating than a dating website. But I accept concerns over being able to find the right numbers and coming off as slightly cultish

Should we think more about EA dating?

Thanks. I'm someone who has historically shrugged off diversity as a low priority issue but I'm becoming more open-minded about it. I'm not particularly well-read about it but would like to change that

Should we think more about EA dating?

I didn't mean to make it seem that the underlying idea is that everyone in EA is a frugal vegan, that was meant to be a somewhat humorous example to illustrate a point. I think my core idea is that a significant proportion (but not all) EAs are sufficiently different to the average non-EA person as to make dating outside EA difficult (but not impossible).

I actually am someone who can compromise to a certain extent, for example I went to Singapore for my friend's wedding in January, but I am thinking of those who don't feel they can. I accept that one can more than make up for going on a holiday by doing good in their job, but taking a Singerian view seriously still means not going on that holiday in the first place and will probably entail aiming to find a girlfirend who lives nearby and not one who you have to fly to to visit.

All this to say that whether or not your girlfriend is an "Effective Altruist", you'll need to respect her beliefs and preferences and make some major compromises to have a healthy relationship.

Absolutely agree. My point is that if two similar EAs are dating these compromises may be less likely to seriously conflict with core ethical beliefs. Of course there will always be more personal compromises to make.

Should we think more about EA dating?

Thanks for your response which seems to have resonated with others. Skewed gender ratio is a difficulty, although it is possible to equalise the number of men and women at singles events by making them ticketed. I am also not taking into account LGBTQ+ here, but in theory you could have LGBTQ+ EA events.

It may feel culty and that may well be a valid reason not to pursue it. I do wonder if this will still be a concern when EA has grown further. We tend not to think of vegan events as culty (well I suppose a lot of people do...). Perhaps EA is just a bit too small at this moment in time to make encouraging EA-dating viable, but when it has become more mainstream it may be a natural progression for the movement.

Should we think more about EA dating?

I do think you could compromise, but I worry that some EAs won't want to. If you take Peter Singer's drowning child thought experiment seriously you may not want to placate your non-EA girlfriend by going on that holiday abroad.

Taking that thought experiment seriously for many people really will entail a high degree of demandingness without much room for compromise.

Should we think more about EA dating?

Funny article!

I actually think getting that sort of information might be quite useful. I'm not saying we should have an independent research project on "Romantic relationships in EA" but perhaps the next EA survey could throw a few questions in regarding how being an EA has impacted on social/romantic life. We don't want to completely neglect the how "nice" it is to be part of the EA community angle. Making progress on this could help us grow the community in the long-run.

Should we think more about EA dating?

Not surprising, but perhaps a slight issue both for the dating idea and more widely.

Putting dating aside I wonder if we need to do more to attract women. Whilst I don't think diversity is intrinsically valuable, I do think it can be instrumentally valuable in that it promotes a wider range of viewpoints and can attract more people to the movement in the long-run.

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