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Oh yeah, if you're referring to it being at conferences, I can see that. 

I don't agree, but I can at least see why. Thanks for clarifying. 

I notice I'm confused. If a woman said "Ooh, he's attractive. I should set up a one-on-one with him", you would report that to the community health team? 


This seems like ordinary and harmless behavior. Maybe not the most strategic way to have a good conversation or get a good long term partner, but hardly a threat to the community. 

(Although this is only one sentence. Maybe she only made this judgment after seeing that he had oodles of EA Forum karma, which is obviously the only correct way to evaluate mate quality 😛 ) 

I'm struggling to understand the thought process that would lead to this being reported. 

For the first and second example you listed, I think they fail the gender-reversal test. If it had been a woman who said she'd arranged a one-on-one with a man cause he was handsome, nobody would feel upset. Similarly if a group of girlfriends were privately ranking which of the men in the area they'd most like to sleep with. 

Interestingly, this actually happened at an EA workplace of mine once. I talked to the people involved and told them how it made me feel. They seemed surprised, then felt guilty, and after some discussion and debate (we are EAs after all), they decided to not do it anymore. 

I think this was more just a matter of low EQ and not thinking things through, rather than an objectification of women. 

For what it's worth, I'm a 30 year old woman who's been involved with EA for eight years and my experience so far has been overwhelmingly welcoming and respectful. This has been true for all of my female EA friends as well. The only difference in treatment I have ever noticed is being slightly more likely to get speaking engagements. 

Just posting about this anonymously because I've found these sorts of topics can lead to particularly vicious arguments, and I'd rather spend my emotional energy on other things.