Great post! You do a great job walking readers through the whole thought process.
As far as this line goes:
Me: … but, like, intransitive preferences… like, what are you even doing with your life, yano?
It seems like you're dancing around this idea with the feeling that if ethics are inconsistent, then why should I have/follow ethics?
A helpful way to investigate this idea is to start with the question: even if I'm a moral realist with consistent ethics, why should I have/follow ethics?