Davit Jintcharadze

40Joined Jun 2022

Comments
9

This is a valid consideration, however, one could argue that if we were to give victims the option to opt out of the specific consequence that might have been crucial in preventing future wrongdoings by the same person or other people, then perpetrators would think they can still carry on with their behavior. Especially if the victim decides to opt the perpetrator out of all serious consequences. It also could be the case that victims that are affected by what happened to them psychologically might not be able to make an informed judgment of consequences at that very moment,  as we know everyone has their own time frame of processing the wrongdoing that was done to them. 

Would you mind pointing out where did I say "only comments" as opposed to "a lot of people"?  Thank you! The point is that it's not ok to silence and downvote women who share their personal experiences, it does not matter if a man or a woman does the silencing. And yes, making it all about monogamy vs polyamory is a distractor from the larger issue as well. 

I think it is largely due to the fact that a woman tried to share her personal experience and a lot of people with a very vague understanding of the sorts of pressures females face from men decided to comment in not the very kind way. Calling someone who is talking about her very unpleasant experience a 'bigot' and seeing only comments about polyamory in a situation where women are made feel uncomfortable is plane sad to be diplomatic. 

Couldn't agree more. Expanding EA to a non-Western context comes with all kinds of considerations and changed messaging. I have found that in a middle-income country like mine people during the fellowship are pretty accepting of the idea that there are some more high-impact careers than being a doctor, but few participants pointed out that that is too general of a statement and depending on what kind of doctor you are you could make a higher or lower impact. For example, in Georgia we had only dozen or less of highly trained epidemiologists to they proved useful during the fight with COVID, even for future infectious pandemics this seems to be an area of medicine worth investing into. 

Some chaotic thoughts on this.

I somewhat agree with you. I think the specific way in which some EAs interact with other people, especially at conferences, can be very off-putting. As a community organizer myself and someone who thinks that expanding the EA community is important, I think people really should work on their communication skills and manners if we want to expand as a community. From personal experience - I am a member of a minority myself,  someone who joined EA about a year ago, I am also a community organizer. 70% of my interactions with EA people have been positive, but 30% were not-so-great.  

I have brought some friends interested in EA conferences and some of them did not have the most positive experience. Some of the most common complaints included people seeming argumentative and wanting to argue and check every statement another person would make. Now, while it is important to examine the line of thought of people, it can also come off as socially unacceptable. There are some things that can be challenged - but also some things that are too personal to people's lived experiences. Being 'socially awkward' or introverted is not an excuse to hurt someone's feelings or to come off as rude. If you want more people to relate to your ideas, you probably should learn how to make them relatable to them and be more open to experiences or ideas that don't seem rational to you.  

Telling someone you don't want to waste your time on them just like that is plain rude, no possible approach or personality trait can justify this behavior. It's really easy to say "Hey I am so sorry, I have a very tight schedule and don't have time for any more 1-on-1s, I hope you understand!". You can literally copy a polite sentence and respond to everyone with that if you are not interested... 

Making others feel they are not important enough is literally a recipe for pushing people away from the EA movement. No one has a monopoly on the movement, even people who think they are 'very high-up', 'important', and 'in the mentoring position'. It's frankly very annoying that some people think they are much better than others, and other people with insecurities fuel that belief and make these people believe they are so-so important. This top-to-down approach often does not work.  Most of the people who think they are so much more important than you are probably not. 

I agree with you as often I have felt some weirdness from certain EAs. I think part of it comes from the fact that several of these EAs are born and raised in a context where they don't experience much oppression and have the privilege of thinking about several issues that affect some people only theoretically. I am not a cultural leftist at all, but I do think that insensitivity to some experiences is a problem in EA at times. 

That being said, it's just one part of people in the EA who act the way you and I experienced. There are also some people who navigate social contexts better and talking with them has made my experience in the EA way more enjoyable.

Maybe some of the things that we could do as a community is have people who would train people on communications or have more workshops related to how to communicate with others in and out of the community more effectively. It is quite unbelievable that we need training on communications just to make someone from the US or Germany understand that someone who is a woman, queer, coming from Eastern Europe, the Middle East, or South Asia, will probably experience things differently and their Western explain-it-all attitude would not be the most effective. 

  • Name: Davit Jintcharadze
  • Location: London, the UK
  • Remote: Possible 
  • Willing to relocate: Potentially, yes
  • Skills: psychology research, organizational skills, communication, writing. 
  • Résumé/CV/LinkedIn: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19UEZvZEMwQkpCrwvjGeZ2U12YriSA_D1/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=102787339948152608405&rtpof=true&sd=true 
  • Email: dj1267@nyu.edu 
  • Notes: I recently relocated to London, and currently work for a knowledge network (sales & outreach). I found my current employment to be not focused on impact at all, and it is giving me significant discomfort that I spend 8 hours 5 times a day working on something that only makes the company more well-off, but does not improve my skills (outside of sales-related ones) or has any traceable impact. Hence, I am looking for EA-aligned jobs, mostly in the UK (with a remote option). My interests are psychology, institutional decision-making, mental health, and more general EA roles focused on operations & community building. I would need visa sponsorship since I am here on a working visa. 
  • Available from and until: October 9 onwards. 


 

Absolutely, glad other people share the argument as often I feel like effective mental health means mental health for EAs for many people!

Hey! Regarding more locations for EAGx and Georgia, we are just starting EA community in Georgia (country) and would love to host an EAGx at some point in near future. 

Personally for me it seems like global mental health should be way higher of a priority than mental health just restricted to EA community. This is not to say we shouldn't have resources for EAs in terms of mental health, but we should avoid tribalism in thinking that mental needs for EAs are so different from rest of the population and so much more high-priority than general population. 

Often, when people talk about mental health on conferences, the conversation shifts to 'how to ensure better mental health among EAs' and often the response is psychotherapy services and therapists who are tailored to EA community.  Being a psychotherapist is definitely a good career choice, but not the most high-impact one as you are restricted to mostly benefiting your own patients. Being an EA-only therapist is even more restrictive in terms of impact you could have, because you are missing out on a lot of people who might need your help more than EA people. Choosing patients or a therapist just by their belonging to EA community for me seems like incredibly unwise decision, especially in a world where mental health causes so much suffering.