L

Liv

911 karmaJoined Nov 2022

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32

Yup. Not to mention that EA community is based also in the countries other than the US, which, I feel, is often forgotten about.

Is it your first article like that? And did you write it solo? I'm not into global health, but overall it looks super impressive. 

Thanks for the post and vulnerability!  I wanted to add one piece. 
I'm speaking from my own experience here. For me, a difference between a "correct" and "incorrect" reaction to a misconduct is a person whose emotions and needs you focus on. Long story short - under no circumstances, when you are speaking to a victim you should be the most important person in the room.  If, for whatever reason, you cannot do that (and it's totally ok to feel that way), I'd suggest stepping out from the conversation. 
Some people may want to give away control and ask others to react - absolutely, you should then react. But because they need it and it's right for them, not because you want to.
So, listening to a person who reports misconduct, the actions you take and the words you say should not be about your shock and stress, your values, your need for action, your need for justice, your  relationship with anybody or something similar. I'm not saying "don't have those" or "don't set boundaries". Obviously, you are going to have those, and if for whatever reason the situation crosses your boundary, step out of it. For me personally, angry, aggressive reactions, when I feel I totally loose control on what happens next are as problematic, as disbelief. And - here, it is very personal - disbelief is sometimes easier, as at least I know why I feel violated. 
In my opinion, after a situation when somebody crosses your boundaries, you may need empowerment (again, you may need it, I'm not speaking for everybody). So taking your agency from you is bad, doesn't matter what form it takes. For me, each time I healed from sexual abuse or misconduct, was the moment when I felt in a position of power over my perpetrator. And some of my abusers were actually quite powerful people for me at the time, not only physically, but also  when it comes to a position in the society. It may be personal, but I feel it's important to mention that some people may feel that way as well.  If I feel that I'm in a place where - when I speak up - people may start trying to forcefully take care of me, I won't speak up. Which is not ideal.
(That being said, if the majority of victims decide they want a system which reacts for them, please set up such a system, I'm just not going to use it)
It is similar case as patriarchy, you know? The core of patriarchy is a man trying to decide what is good for a woman. The solution is listen to her.  Forced protection without respect is only slightly better than ignoring.

Other people. I feel that certain perspectives on the forum are expressed very strongly, and with little consideration towards other points of view. One of them is "if you are in a position of power you should be considerate towards those who are not as they may feel pressured by you" which I agree with. But the same person sometimes also very strongly expresses some other view, regarding, i.e. dating, full of "shoulds" and often strongly rooted in the US norms and culture (in my perspective). I simply find it ironic.

Sorry, it will be not a very kind comment and a bit of a rant - upper American class on this forum keeps saying "if you are in a position of power you should be very considerate of others and their boundaries, and give them space, because sometimes they may feel pressured to agree with you and find it hard to speak up". Yeah, exactly

Yes, I also usually prefer texts with more pronounced structure. It's just a kind note, so maybe you can take it into consideration in the future :) 

Liv
1y64
39
0

Would you agree with the statement:
"EA made an attempt to attract as many students and young people as possible, and therefore neglected older groups. As a result, the movement to a huge extent:
a) has a too small proportion of emotionally mature people, which makes it more turbulent, and, as a result, less effective;
b) makes it not very attractive to mid-career and mature people, who - even if impressed by young prodigies, don't regard them as their thought partners (due to lack of life experience);
c) puts too much pressure on young people, as they are sometimes put into leadership positions which they are emotionally not ready for"

For the record, I don't know if I agree with this statement. But I'm curious what do you guys think.

I think the model is a good idea, but would work only for those, who run workshops occasionally/outside their usual dating circle, otherwise people would be incentivized not to do so.  Plus, it shouldn't be treated as a "golden solution for all of the issues", rather used with a fair amount of consideration for everybody involved.

Liv
1y17
4
0

A bit of side topic here, but thank you very much Jeff for writing this post and making an effort to understand everyone, structure this discussion and come to some agreement/conclusions. I see a lot of value in it. Plus, it was very comforting for me personally, as some previous talks left me quite upset. 

Looks great, thanks! Could you please recommend the one which is particularly interesting/a good place to start? :) 

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