Written by Jamie Wahls and published in Strange Horizons in 2017.  A humorous short story that's ultimately about the continued need for altruism even in the far future.

I'm just including a short excerpt from the start because of copyright.

He's shivering as he emerges from the pod. No surprise, he was frozen for like a billion years.

I do all the stuff on the script, all the "Fear Not! You are a welcomed citizen of our Utopia!" stuff while I'm toweling him off. Apparently he's about as good as I am with awkward silence 'cause it's not three seconds before he starts making small talk.

"So, how'd you get to be a. . ." He waves his hand.

"A Tour Guide To The Future?!"

The rest

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