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I'm a software engineer working in Austin who is interested in dating women, and is considering relocating in order to have better job opportunities.

I analyzed US census data to determine the ratio of unmarried men and unmarried women in areas where I'm considering relocating to. Here's what I found:

San Francisco

  • Roughly 9 unmarried women for every 10 unmarried men in the 20-34 age range.
  • Roughly 2 unmarried women for every 3 unmarried men in the 35-44 age range.

The Bay Area (specifically San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara)

  • Roughly 3 unmarried women for every 4 unmarried men in the 20-34 age range.
  • Roughly 4 unmarried women for every 5 unmarried men in the 35-44 age range.

Austin

  • Roughly 9 unmarried women for every 10 unmarried men in both the 20-34 and 35-44 age ranges.

Seattle

  • Roughly 8 unmarried women for every 9 unmarried men in the 20-34 age range.
  • Roughly 3 unmarried women for every 4 unmarried men in the 35-44 age range.

New York City

  • Roughly 1 unmarried woman for every 1 unmarried man in both the 20-34 and 35-44 age ranges.

(methods here)

The Bay Area has the best career opportunities for software engineers, whether they are trying to earn to give or to have direct impact. It is also has, at least by these numbers, the least opportunities to meet unmarried women. (San Francisco does have a high percentage of gay men but it's just a couple percentage points higher than other cities on this list, so it isn't a big factor.)

New York City would be a good option for someone who wants career opportunities and to have dating opportunities. For me personally, I don't think New York City would be a good fit. I am not crazy about hectic, loud places. I like hiking and spending time outdoors. And I don't see live music or eat at restaurants, or do other things NYC is famous for, often.

Am I flawed somehow in thinking that I should stay away from the Bay Area or San Francisco if I'd like to meet women at some point? I would appreciate any advice anyone has. Austin does have several big tech companies, but a lot of the teams are working on products which don't have much impact, so it's harder to get promoted, and direct work opportunities are much more rare than the Bay Area.

I'm also interesting in polyamorous relationships, if that makes any difference. Although I've heard anecdotally that there are more poly people in the Bay Area, I don't have data on percentages of poly people in the Bay Area versus other cities, so I am cautious to draw any conclusions there.

P.S. In the title I ask whether it makes sense for "straight men" to not move to the Bay Area or Seattle. It would have been more accurate for me to have written "people who are interested in dating women who want to date men", but that would've made the title confusing to read. I didn't choose the phrase "people who want to date women" because the number of single men in a place probably doesn't impact lesbians. I also didn't just write "men" because there could be gay men who also don't care about the number of women. Anyways, I tried to walk a line between being politically correct, conceptually correct, and having a readable title, and that was the best I came up with.

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No one should ever move to the Bay Area, for many reasons. Seattle is fine.

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Sorted by Click to highlight new comments since: Today at 6:04 AM

This doesn't seem to have anything to do with effective altruism. Why did you post it on this forum?

80,000 Hours talks a lot about moving to a city where you have more of an ability to have a bigger impact, and names the Bay Area specifically as one such place.

I'm trying to do the most good with my career, and considering moving to one of the cities mentioned above in order to do so.

Mostly just to get other perspectives and see if I'm missing anything from people trying to use reason to help people.

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