When I am feeling sad or anxious about the social status people in the EA community are assigning me, I've found it helps to try and focus on how well I am living up to my own beliefs and values.
To help with that, I generally think about what actions I have taken that I think were right or wrong.
For any mistakes I think I made, I play the "find the policy update game" by:
- Figuring out what behavior was responsible for the mistake occurring
- Figuring out what behavior should replace the less-than-optimal behavior
- Figuring out how to ensure that I actually change my behavior to the better behavior
Example behavior changes include:
- Listen to people more
- Notice when you are putting on airs to gain status
- Think more about whether you think your sentences are true before saying them
- See more of people's potential rather than their flaws
- More examples (as well as the concept of "tortoise skills") here
I've found that making the behavior change often takes time. Though I've found that the thing that makes it work in general is just reflecting on the intended behavior change enough such that you begin to notice yourself making mistakes. I tend to reflect on the behaviors right after playing the policy update game, randomly, and sometimes as I am falling asleep.
Probably adding this sort of thing to a weekly reflection routine is a more robust strategy. I imagine just having to add my mistakes to a list might make me get over my in-the-moment status anxieties faster, but I'm not sure. I'd be curious if anyone's tried this. I'd also be curious to hear what other people have found helpful when they have status-related anxiety.