A few years ago I asked a zen nun what exactly is the use of being a nun, living quite secluded and without much impact on the world. Her response was (roughly speaking) that it is good if some people practice and study intensely because that keeps the quality and depth of the tradition alive and develops it. But not everyone should take that path. It seems like you was expressing the same idea as you are! I think she now leads one of the monastic centers in Germany.