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Resources around shame and striving and EA

by Nathan Young1 min read12th Oct 20216 comments


Mental healthCommunity

For me, my EA-ness lives quite close to centres of shame and striving.  It's something I'm working through.

I doubt I'm the only one who feels this way.

What are the best resources you've read around this nexus of topics:
- A need to be better
- Altruism as a means to feel good about oneself/ fill a hole left by shame/guilt
- Guilt around doing things for yourself
- Fear that being satisfied would lead you to be less altruistic
- Stories of people who have grown or changed their minds on this issue

This isn't a cry for help, I'll be fine, I have people. It's an honest request for resources. Hopefully it will be useful to others.

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3 Answers

Nate Soares's Replacing Guilt series could be helpful if you haven't listened to it yet. 

I found it a bit helpful for lessening my guilt in feeling that I could spend more hours working on EA stuff, or that I could be achieving more impact. But I've only listened to the first ~8 articles so far. I was listening to the audiobook version, which is pretty good quality.

Your comments are useful to me, I've noticed over time. So thanks for that, Brian.

4BrianTan10dGlad to hear! I like your contributions to the forum too.

There's a book and audiobook for Overcoming Perfectionism, and I think some EAs may score high in perfectionism, especially when it comes to their work and/or in trying to be highly impactful. 

I've listened to the first hour of the audiobook, which is newly released, and it's been somewhat helpful. I'm not sure if I'll finish the book though, and I may not. I wouldn't quite recommend it fully yet, given I haven't finished it, but I like what I've listened to so far. 

I think I am somewhat of a perfectionist, so just knowing that this is a problem that others share, is likely generally not helpful, and can be overcome, has been valuable.

I haven't read the whole thing but I like this book and know another person or two who also liked it.