Moral Demandingness - Can you help me think about it better?

Seeking conversation partners on demandingness, coherence, and living with persistent moral tension. I am writing to look for people who might be willing to discuss the demandingness of morality with me in a sustained and serious way.

This is not a question of unfamiliarity with the literature. I have spent considerable time engaging with discussions around demandingness, opportunity cost reasoning, supererogation, agent-centred prerogatives, and related debates within EA and moral philosophy more broadly. Conceptually, I feel I understand the landscape reasonably well.

What I struggle with is not really a primarily theoretical disagreement but lived integration in practice.

In particular, I experience persistent tension around the following:

• Treating opportunity costs with high moral salience while continuing to participate in ordinary social and relational practices  
• Strong sensitivity to coherence between evaluative judgement and behaviour
• Some difficulty of operating within relationships where others do not share similarly demanding interpretations  
• The absence of any clear resolution point or stable personal equilibrium  

This produces a recurring sense of “standing moral problem” rather than a discrete philosophical puzzle.

I would especially value conversations with people in one (or more) of the following categories:

1. People who once experienced strong demandingness pressure and feel they have reached a stable or workable integration
2. People who maintain (somewhat) demanding views but have developed practical ways of living with persistent tension
3. People who fundamentally reject the idea that morality is highly demanding and can articulate why in a way that withstands opportunity cost reasoning

My goal is not to debate in the adversarial sense or to convince anyone about anything per se, but to understand how others have navigated this terrain in practice.

Ideally, I would like to speak with someone (or several people) more than once.

If this resonates with you, I would be grateful to connect (via comments, DM, or whatever format you prefer).

Thank you.

Milan