This chapter's exercise is about doing some personal reflection. There are no right or wrong answers here, instead this is an opportunity for you to take some time and think about your ethical values and beliefs.
A letter to the past (10 mins.)
This exercise asks you to explore what it would take to change your mind about something important.
Imagine someone from the past who held views characteristic of that time. Also imagine, for the sake of the exercise, that this person is not too different from you - perhaps you would have been friends. Unfortunately, many people in the past were complicit in horrible things, such as slavery, sexism, racism, and homophobia, which were even more prevalent in the past than they are now. And, sadly, this historical counterpart is also complicit in some moral tragedy common to their time, perhaps not out of malevolence or ill-will, but merely through indifference or ignorance.
This exercise is to write a short letter to this historical friend arguing that they should care about a specific group that your present self values. Imagine that they are complicit in owning slaves, or in the oppression of women, people of other races, or sexual minorities.
For the sake of this exercise, imagine your historical counterpart is not malevolent or selfish, they think they are living a normal moral life, but are unaware of where they are going wrong. What could you say to them to make them realize that they’re doing wrong? What evidence are they overlooking that allows them to hold their discriminatory views? You might want to write a few paragraphs or just bullet points, and spend time reflecting on what you write.
Dear Friend from the past,
I’ve been thinking deeply about our society and how it treats those who do not fit into the traditional norms we’ve accepted for so long. Specifically, I’m writing to you about sexual minorities—people who are not heterosexual or cisgender. I know that you believe your views are in line with what is morally right, and that you’re just living the life that has been handed down to you by our culture. But I ask you to consider whether the treatment of sexual minorities reflects the moral values we truly hold dear, such as fairness, kindness, and the right of each individual to live a dignified life.
One thing that often goes overlooked is that sexual minorities are not choosing their identities any more than you or I chose ours. Just as you did not choose to be heterosexual, they did not choose to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. The assumption that being different in this way is inherently wrong or immoral has been shaped by cultural and religious narratives that have long gone unchallenged. But if we take a step back, we can see that these narratives are based on fear of the unknown rather than any inherent wrongdoing. We are all simply trying to live according to who we are. If we, as a society, demand that sexual minorities conform to an identity that isn’t theirs, we’re forcing them to live inauthentic lives—a fate that would surely feel oppressive and cruel if we were subjected to it ourselves.
Sexual minorities experience a great deal of suffering, much of which is preventable. Discrimination in housing, employment, healthcare, and education creates barriers that rob people of opportunities to lead fulfilling lives. Even worse, many endure violence, rejection, and isolation simply for being who they are. Can we really call ourselves just or moral if we ignore these realities? If we believe in human dignity, then we must accept that it applies to everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The evidence is there if we are willing to open our eyes to it—people who are free to express their identities without fear or repression lead happier, healthier, and more productive lives. We should want this for all people, not just those who are like us.
I encourage you to think deeply about what it means to live a moral life in this respect. Does it not include standing against unnecessary harm? Consider what it would mean for us to be complicit in this harm, even passively, through our silence or inaction. We have the ability, through understanding and empathy, to transform the world into one where everyone, regardless of their identity, can thrive. I hope you’ll join me in this.