Welcome to the second open thread on the Effective Altruism Forum. This is our place to discuss relevant topics that have not appeared in recent posts. Thanks to an upgrade by Trike Apps, each time you visit the open thread, new comments will now be highlighted!
I think we can both agree that the way you say things is very important. Saying "come back when you make more money" is very different from saying "if you are interested in helping people as effectively as possible it may be wise to consider looking out for yourself first before turning your motivations outward." There are a lot of reasons for people to worry that their lives are too good in comparison to others' and therefore they have a moral obligation to help. I think a lot of EA's have felt this way before. When faced with this sentiment, I think it can be a mistake with regard to actually being effective to devote significant effort into explicit donation rather than personal development.
I think you are also framing the argument to make "making more money" sound like a bad thing that most people don't want to do. A lot of people already want to make more money, and they feel a conflict between trying their best to become successful VS using the resources / leverage they already have to help others. My argument is that focusing on personal goals and development could kill two birds with one stone for a lot of people and I don't think it's as off-putting as you make it sound.
Speaking from my own experience, I have a very high propensity to think about others before myself and I think this can be a flaw and limit productivity in many ways. I think I would ultimately be a more effective altruist if I had spent more of my time pondering "how can I become really good at something / develop valuable skills" rather than "how can I do the most good."
True, but a lot of people are also struggling just to find a job that would be both enjoyable and provide a sufficient wage to pay the bills. Emphasizing making more money could cause them to feel a conflict between finding a job that doesn't feel soul-crushing VS feeling guilty about being unable to donate much. (Full disclosure: I feel a bit of this, since the career path that I'm currently considering the most isn't one that I'd expect to make a lot of money.)