A lot of the specific things you've mentioned make a lot of sense.
Generally, I would be cautious about asking for help in contexts where review and/or supervision will be necessary or your reliance on the volunteer could be detrimental. People are often excited to help and overstate what they actually can do. Often the value of the time involved with dealing with volunteers is far more valuable than what they produce.
Important point RE volunteers! I can be much faster to just do things yourself than to train a completely new person. With volunteers it can be hit and miss, but sometimes you can stumble upon a reliable volunteer, especially for short-term projects!
TL;DR:
Self-reliance matters, but asking for help can often turn good work into great work. It saves time, builds trust, and strengthens the movement. In this short post, I recommend a few ways you can ask for help in your work and community.
At a recent leadership gathering, we were discussing how many of us have too many tasks on our plates. Someone said something that stuck with me:
“Ask your team for help. They want to help you and the org succeed.”
It hit home. In leadership and entrepreneurship, we often mistake competence for independence.
When I was asked for my top tip for new charity founders, I said a similar thing:
“Learn to ask for help. Don’t reinvent the wheel.”
Self-reliance gets us far. It’s what drives many of us to push through exhaustion and figure things out alone. I still default to that—searching, pushing through, trying to fix things myself. But there’s a point where working solo stops being efficient. After that, asking for help becomes a multiplier.
Light touches
Medium steps
Bigger asks
Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s an act of trust. It builds relationships and strengthens communities.
We sometimes avoid it because we don’t want to make others uncomfortable, but most people can set boundaries. When I am asked for help but can’t help directly, I still share a few leads or ideas. Healthy help-seeking and boundary-setting go hand in hand.
I also know it’s harder for some, especially those new to the space or used to relying only on themselves. That’s why leaders should normalise it.
I’m still learning, too. It can sometimes take me days to send a message that says, “Could you help me think this through?” But every time I do, it’s worth it.
Very recent real-life example: At the last EAG NYC, I lost most of my voice before Hive’s speed-meets. I almost cancelled, but asked my friend Ben Stevenson to lead instead. He did brilliantly while I ran the logistics, and the event went even better as Ben’s voice is louder than my normal voice. We got many compliments on the session, and I was so happy we did it. That experience reminded me: asking for help doesn’t make things fall apart—it often makes them better.
Here is a picture of me and @Ben Stevenson, who kindly volunteered to co-host the animal welfare speed meetings with me at EAG NYC 2025!
A culture of wise help-seeking doesn’t just make life easier. It speeds up learning, reduces duplication, and keeps our movement resilient.
Self-reliance builds competence. Collaboration builds strength. We need both.
Questions for you:
Wow, I love that you ended your post in questions. I found your thesis compelling; it reminded me of how much value I used to get from more actively networking with and reaching out to people in online EA spaces. Also, I loved that it was short and salient.
Knowing relevant people who have signaled they are okay being asked for help on a given topic. Having a personalish connection to people. A lack of fear of stigma or social consequence for asking a dumb question that I shouldn't have needed help with. A sense of worthiness that I am even allowed to ask things of other people in this context.
I ask for help multiple times every day. I am a working stiff and my day job is bench work as a technician in a clinical diagnostics lab (microbiology department). I ask the more senior technicians and medical directors for advice constantly, multiple times a day. That usually goes well and people either give me some kind of answer or at least tell me who to ask. The main downside is that it can take up my time and tbh sometimes they don't give me great advice.
Also I ask my wife for help with all the time and that goes great because they are an amazing partner that I am lucky to have! :) I love my wife!
Hey Jacob, thanks a lot for reading and your comment!
I relate to your answers, especially about the person signalling that it's ok to come to them with certain questions or ask for help. My own favourite is "Have a low bar for reaching out" which has worked in some cases.
And also funny that people don't give that great of advice! I have found that it's worth asking for advice sometimes just to see if there is anything you don't know, and if you keep hearing the same advice from experts it means you may have heard most of what you need to know.
Can totally relate to asking your partner for help, I find that my husband has great judgement even on work things even though he doesn't work in the movement and doesn't have a similar job.