Advice for an alcoholic EA

Hey, I'm sorry to hear this has been hard. Alcohol problems are so common in general that there are certainly other EAs struggling with this.

Here's an overview I put together a while ago about some different treatment options: Resource on alcohol problems

If you think talking with others in EA would be helpful, the EA Peer Support group has had other posts about this and allows anonymous posting.

Sending you best wishes!
 

Hi! I've struggled loads with addictions to alcohol and other drugs, spending large chunks of my 20s and 30s totally in thrall to one substance or another. I spent several years trying and failing to get sober, and finally succeeded 2.5 years ago. I'm sorry you're going through it; it's fucking agonizing.

One thing I found indispensable in early sobriety was fellowship, and I think this is true of a very large % of people who successfully recover. 12 Step programs can be an awkward fit, but also have huge fellowships in many areas, and I was able to get a fair amount out of them eventually. Buddhist recovery was also fairly helpful for me. In my experience, unfortunately, existing secular programs suck.

Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk. Wherever you are in your journey, there's a very good chance I've been there, and have known many other people who have as well. I've occasionally thought about trying to organize some kind of recovery fellowship within EA and would be open to doing that if there are others interested, as well.

Thanks for posting, I’ve struggled with substance abuse myself and I’m sure many other folks in EA have as well. It’s a seriously endemic problem in the modern world that we don’t discuss enough as a cause area or community health issue in my opinion.

My first recommendation would be find a new therapist who’s open to learning about new things. Anecdotally I spent years going through different therapists, and finally found one that was interested in a rationalist perspective. He’s read many slate star codex posts and I feel I can talk to him about things from an EA/rationalist lens. It takes effort but it’s worth it.

I’ve also found John Vervaeke’s lecture series, Awakening from the Meaning Crisis, to be helpful in understanding my own ‘triggers’ so to speak. I’d recommend giving it a listen, it’s very similar to rationalist arguments in many ways.

https://youtu.be/54l8_ewcOlY

He has an audio only version on Spotify as well.

Good luck to you, and feel free to message me if you’d like to chat more.

Please don't apologise for your use of a burner account to share something vulnerable. xxox. And thank you for sharing.

As someone who has struggled with these issues in the past, I'm just replying to let you know there are definitely others in the community that struggle with this. 

Certainly not qualified to give you advice but what helped for me was: 

1. Not worrying about staying sober "long-term" just removing it as "something I do". I found I also was finding lame excuses so it helped to just think on a day-to-day basis that it just isn't an option for me was the only way to not drink. 

2. For myself, I found that most external resources were not very helpful since they all inevitably revolved around thinking about drinking and discussing drinking, they were not useful for me and didn't assist me much, however many others find them helpful. 

3. Actively removing myself from situations (bars, afterwork events etc) that heavily involve alcohol and  replacing these with situations where alcohol was not helpful (playing complicated boardgames and fitness)

4. Trying my best to identify sources of significant stress and tension in my life and remove that stress. (this meant taking a pay cut in the end for a less stressful job as this was stress mostly through work)

Resources differ by location. If you share your country, it would help us give you better advice!

I'm a sober alcoholic, have been for quite a few years now (enough that I've lost count.)

I guess everyone's path is different, but what helped me was reading the book This Naked Mind. It's not a greaaat book, has very mixed reviews and plenty of justified criticism. But it got me to stop drinking, and convinced me that if I stayed sober long enough it would last.

And it did.

What worked for me was drawing a small fish-hook on my arm every morning, a visible reminder that the addiction was there, that the addiction was separate from me, and that 'my' desire to drink was the addiction's desire.

Around 2 weeks sober it seemed to get noticeably easier, and the longer I stayed sober the easier it became to stay sober.

I don't miss alcohol, and I don't feel like I'm missing out.

Like I said, everyone's situation and path is different. But one thing you can rely on is that the longer you're sober, the easier it will get to stay sober.