Edit 7/7/2023: Update here: https://forum.effectivealtruism.org/posts/F2MfbmRAiMx2PDhaD/some-observations-on-alcoholism
Hi guys, as my username suggests, I’m sorry to write this pseudonymously, but I don’t know how public I want to be about my problems yet. So, the short version is that I’m an alcoholic and I’m an Effective Altruist, and I don’t know exactly how much I should or shouldn’t involve EA in my recovery efforts. I am vaguely aware that EA has mental health resources for struggling EAs, and I am struggling. I also don’t know how many of them are relevant to substance abuse in particular. These are some of the considerations that I am conflicted about:
Against involving EA more: Most of my problems are not directly related to EA, and I’m not sure if I should be using EA resources for personal health problems unless I have some strong idea of how my problems relate to my involvement in EA. Maybe more to the point, I have access to other mental health resources, I am currently seeing someone at my school about this, and it feels like a waste of resources to involve EA in my problems if I don’t need to. Additionally, there are many recent worries that EA is too insular, and this can lead to problems in how it handles personal issues. I share some of these worries, and although I don’t distrust EA’s mental health team, it seems like I should be cautious in over-involving EA in my personal life where it is unnecessary. If nothing else, it makes me more dependent on EA. Additionally as mentioned before, I just don’t know if EA’s mental health team deals with things like substance abuse so much as burn out.
In favor: While my drinking is not deeply connected to my involvement in Effective Altruism, there are a number of things that have exacerbated my problem which are idiosyncratic to EA in a way that makes me uncomfortable talking to a normal therapist about it. I have still not mentioned anything EA related to my counselor so far despite our sessions thus far largely focusing on my “triggers” for drinking. Related to this, I am not a huge fan of my current counselor’s approach, there is a bunch of focus on things like what drives me to drink, when I buy more into a bias-based and chemical model of drinking, where mostly the issue with my “triggers” is that I am unusually susceptible to finding lame excuses for myself. She also keeps recommending a bunch of other mental health resources, some of which seem quite tangentially related to my main problem. I think that a more focused approach would be valuable, and think that the type of triage and evidence-based thinking common in EA makes it more likely to be a space where the counseling I get will be, well, effective. I also don’t want to speak too soon about resource problems, as there may be many services that aren’t resource intensive, like groups sessions for EAs with substance abuse problems.
Does anyone have any advice? Are there people here who have gone through a situation like this before, and have they involved EA’s mental health resources in some way? If so what did they get out of it?
As someone who has struggled with these issues in the past, I'm just replying to let you know there are definitely others in the community that struggle with this.
Certainly not qualified to give you advice but what helped for me was:
1. Not worrying about staying sober "long-term" just removing it as "something I do". I found I also was finding lame excuses so it helped to just think on a day-to-day basis that it just isn't an option for me was the only way to not drink.
2. For myself, I found that most external resources were not very helpful since they all inevitably revolved around thinking about drinking and discussing drinking, they were not useful for me and didn't assist me much, however many others find them helpful.
3. Actively removing myself from situations (bars, afterwork events etc) that heavily involve alcohol and replacing these with situations where alcohol was not helpful (playing complicated boardgames and fitness)
4. Trying my best to identify sources of significant stress and tension in my life and remove that stress. (this meant taking a pay cut in the end for a less stressful job as this was stress mostly through work)
Thanks, I appreciate the organization and frankness of this comment, so I will replicate it:
- I think this is what helps most for me too, on the days I consider it completely off the table, I don't think about it so much. The same is true on days when I am generally in a more hopeful state of mind, but right now I am gradually decreasing the amount I drink to avoid serious withdrawal problems, which is proving difficult
- Since I've never been to one I'm unsure about this, but I feel like I can understand it
- I very rarely go to events like this, and almost alway
... (read more)