You should judge others on a curve, and probably yourself as well.
Judging others on a curve means that folks see reward for doing more than what is typical. This is just good reinforcement-learning theory, since it is easy to get both feedback on rewarded & not-rewarded actions.
I started writing this thinking that you should NOT judge yourself on a curve, in contrast. IE, you know much more about your own circumstances, and so pretending you are average throws away info. For example, if I only gave 5% of my income to charity, that would be above average for the US. But my opportunities are amazing, and so 5% would in reality show low effort.
But actually, I was just using the wrong comparison group! I shouldn't compare myself to a big group of other people. I have a near perfect comparison group in my past self. If I did a better job this week than last week at work, that's a great sign! If my one-rep max for benchpress has gone down over the last month, that's a bad sign!
This all feels obvious in retrospect.
I'm pledging[1] to stop[2] saving[3] additional[4] money[5] & donate instead.
Fine print:
[1] This pledge is only good until 2030 unless renewed, and becomes invalid if I start working at a nonprofit.
[2] I'm still allowed to max out my 401k, partially since I have a 50% match there.
[3] Spending money is fine. I only spend 5% my gross, so that isn't the problem.
[4] I'm allowed to keep up with inflation, should the stock market not already do so.
[5] I'm allowed to keep saving illiquid equity, although I am encouraged to liquidate to the extent feasible to align with the spirit of the pledge.
[6] If strange situations result in me saving money having more net-expect-impact this year than donating, I'm allowed to do so. Didn't expect this to come up. Less than a 1% increase in savings, I won't beat myself up about it.
I think this is so awesome, and I hope I can make a similar pledge someday, if I achieve enough financial security.
I'm kinda curious how frugally you live with 5%. A concern I have is that as I get older, the lifestyles of those around me improve (since they have more money) and so it's quite hard not to raise my standards as well.
Also I guess you have no concerns about potentially having to support family?
The explanation is IMO less about frugality and more about getting lucky with my career choice. I spend about 45k a year, which is kinda frugal for my peers but globally I'm a spendthrift. I spend about 1.8k a month on rent, a few hundred on food, and take a vacation once or twice a year. My main hobbies are cheap (video games, board games, birding, pickleball).
It is often much easier to make more money than it is to save more. I would personally focus more on that side of the equation.
My wife & I don't want kids. If we did, I probably would want to save more (just for college). But even if we did, we were very lucky to have software engineering jobs over the last 10 years. We'd basically be fine.