I will preface this with the acknowledgement of my own bias of being an easterner, from a particularly impoverished country, I might be too harsh on EA organizations but please bear with me, this post is not up here to be flame-bait or to inspire an uncivilized debate, I am just trying to share my perspective.
Hi everyone for the sake of anonymity I will be your Verka Serduchka, well I have spent a few years in this EA bubble, I have done volunteering at different EAs, done EA-oriented courses, done stuff within my financial and physical capabilities.
Sadly being born in the East means that you medical and overall life-care will be lower so I have spent most of my adult life (approximately 12 years) in between hospitals and hospital visits.
In my time as an adult, I never had the opportunity or capability to volunteer or do side projects of my own, at least not in the sense that EA organizations expect me to, I would love to run a local EA group, but again I am severely sick and disabled. At the time of writing this I haven't left my home in about 16 days, I just can't.
So why am I complaining about the ROI, well I have volunteered a ton with some remote-only EA organizations, great experiences, some of them went on and closed down over the years, but no matter my previous experience, I keep applying for all the menial, low-level, entry-level jobs with nothing to show for. Why do I want an EA job so badly? I have knowledge in the movement and I can help would be the right answer, but in reality, there are no other opportunities for someone stuck in this system. Nobody wants or cares to deal with the corrupt Eastern systems so any hiring manager, when they see my country, they click on that deny button. Trust me I have tried every remote job out there, I even got denied for a "sex-chatter" position.
That entry level 20k per year job would save my life, it would drastically change the trajectory of my life, but even after trying for years, I have landed nothing.
I don't want any pity, it's my life no matter how hard or easy it is, I just want you to know that the next time you talk to a volunteer at your organization, It might be me. I don't plan on giving up on EA as a niche, I am good at this, if nobody decides that I am worthy enough to pay for, I will still keep volunteering and doing these funded courses (Thank you CEA, for not making me pay for my course fees <3).
I don't want anyone to feel attacked with this, but it's really disheartening sitting here in my 3x7 room, with the desk that is peeling, chair that is semi broken, typing on my keyboard that is missing four keystrokes while I see my co-workers, associates, people I talk to daily or even directly work with daily enjoy the leisure of life. I don't feel jealous, I just feel sad because nobody in these years of work decided that I am worth something, anything, I literally make ends meet through the compassion of my parents and begging on upwork for 4$/hr gigs for data work.
But as that is also dry at this moment, with the whole boom of AI, and my skills (on that low level becoming obsolete), who knows you might see me (your coworker) on onlyfans or feetfinder, selling my body to make these ends meet.
Lastly, I don't want you to feel bad for me, I choose this life every day, I choose to volunteer, I choose to still stick by this community and try and get that 20k/yr job.
I just want you to think about this the next time you talk with a volunteer or an intern, is that perhaps me? Would you treat me differently? Could you sympathize with the pain that I feel? Trust me I don't want to sell my nude body on the internet, but if that keeps me available to volunteer, well I can bite that bullet.
Please be nice and constructive, as I am very emotional writing out all of this, it's my reality and not just a boredom posting. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your experience - I imagine it wasn't easy to write. You clearly care deeply about this work.
I just want to acknowledge that being seriously ill is hard enough on its own. Doing it without financial security, while watching opportunities not come through, just sounds really difficult. I hope at least one of those things gets a bit easier soon.
Thank you for your reminder that the people we work alongside may be navigating complex challenges invisibly - it's an important thing to keep in mind.
Thank you, I think I wrote this in a desperate act to be seen in a way, my EA organizations have a ton of "mental health" support groups and check-ins but I have never felt comfortable enough to speak about my struggles, even though it's EA it still feels really corporate when your peers talk about retreats and productivity and management of obligations.
It feels out of place to even come with my issues openly.
Thank you for seeing "me" Charlotte.