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I just spent the weekend at EAGxBerkeley where I spent most of my two dozen 1:1s doing coaching sessions. Here's my case why you (and every EA) should try coaching/therapy.
It is a normal human experience to struggle. Unfortunately, many of us in this high-achievement culture have been conditioned to struggle in silence. It's perceived as weakness. And it's a vicious cycle because fewer people talking openly about their struggles leads others to believe they are in the minority, making them less likely to talk about it.
In 12-step programs, this is called "white-knuckling"—gritting your teeth and pushing through. And maybe you can. But what kind of life is that? Maybe you believe that the good deeds you do with your EA work will eventually absolve you of the need to suffer.
40–60% of kids growing up in the USA don't have a safe, healthy environment and don't have good role models for managing difficult emotions and resolving conflict in a healthy, respectful manner. This was me, and it's likely you as well. Striving for high achievement to earn a caregiver's love is a common defense mechanism against adverse childhood experiences.
The one thing I want everyone to know: you do not need to achieve at some particular, arbitrary level to earn your place on this planet and be worthy of love and belonging.
Maybe you're not used to being vulnerable. Maybe you're not used to identifying feelings and emotions and using precise words to label them. Maybe you never learned how to sit with difficult emotions—like sadness, fear, guilt, and shame—without becoming angry and reactive. It's never too late to learn. Coaches and therapists create a safe space for you to lean into these skills.
We have 80 (and growing) coaches and therapists in the EA community. Nearly all will do an introductory session for free. Many will do sliding-scale rates. For those who truly cannot afford to pay, coaches-in-training need clients for their accreditation. Therapists-in-training also need client experience. There is literally no cost other than a bit of your time.
I gave a talked titled Every EA Should Work with a Coach twice at EA events back in 2022. The content still holds up. We have the supportive resources. Yet midway through 2026, they are not being utilized by the people who need them the most.
Financial success depends on warmth of relationships… not on intelligence. Those who scored highest on measurements of “warm relationships” earned $141,000/year more at their peak salaries (55–60 years old) on average. There is no significant difference in maximum income between those with IQs in the 110–115 range and those with IQs higher than 150.
Thanks to FIRE, I am (gratefully) financially secure; I don't need paying clients to earn money. Lately I'm more focused on my volunteer work and mental health podcast than my coaching practice. I'd be happy for people to work with any of the 79 other providers in EA (or the hundreds of thousands of non-EA options worldwide).
I don't care how you get there; just get there (if you can).
