I self publish Pride and Prejudice fan fiction a living, and at the back of my books I always include a request to people that they donate to charity. I decided to experiment and ask the forum to find out if anyone can tell me a way what I've written way better/ more powerful/ effective.

The modal member of my audience is a retired woman who likes historical romances, so my goal is to write something that might get your mother or grandmother to take action.

I have always told the readers to donate to Doctors Without Borders -- I pick that organization because while it is not on the frontier of cost effectiveness (and the work it does is probably more replaceable than that done by, for example Give Directly), it is an effective and transparent organization which also has a huge amount of brand recognition already, and it is not very weird. I am very open to figuring out ways to also / instead mention speficially EA organizations, if that feels to me like it would be likely to be effective.

Anyways, this is what I currently have in the back of the next novel I'm going to publish:

 

I also want to remind everyone that we can make the world a better place by helping those who are in desperate need get medicine, food, and medical attention. There are of course lots of other important ways to help, but donating to Doctors Without Borders every month is one of the ways I’ve chosen to help create a world that is just a little more like the one I would like to see.

Doctors Without Borders is literally stopping people from dying, and it makes me very happy to know that part of my money (which started as your money, my dear readers, thank you!) helps make the surgeries, examinations, immunizations, and provision of antibiotics happen. And it makes me very happy when I receive emails from my readers who want to tell me that they are also choosing to be part of making this world a better, safer and healthier place for everyone. 

So join me, pick some amount of money that you feel comfortable giving up, whether it is five or ten dollars a month, one hundred dollars a month, or one percent of your income, or two percent, or whatever you can afford joyfully, and help others.

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The current note is well-written! I'd shrink the last bit to: "whether it ten dollars a month, one percent of your income, or whatever you can afford joyfully, and help others." $100/month is already going to be more than 1% of most incomes, and $5 seems very close to $10.

If you're a member of GWWC or Try Giving, you may want to include a link to this or OFTW (on "one percent of your income") in case someone is curious enough to explore. I'd prefer GWWC, since their website is more informative and signing up might put someone on pace to join the full pledge eventually (whereas OFTW doesn't try too hard to get people past 1% that I know of — though I might be wrong).

The nice thing here is that you don't need to worry about driving people away with a big pitch (as long as you're nice about it), since they've already bought and finished your book.

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As for the charity, it seems like you should advertise whichever one you personally support, as long as that's an easily understood option. (If you support something really obscure, makes sense to pitch something more appropriate for people without as much EA context.)

GiveDirectly is growing as a brand and is easy to explain, but AMF is probably more cost-effective and also easy to explain (with a nice, descriptive name), so I'd go with that in your position (though again, only if you actually support the org!). AMF is also literally stopping people from dying, and their work on net provision and malaria research can be subbed in for your description of DWB.

I think I'll add  a line with a link to both OFTW and GWWC, and also I've removed the $100 and the $5. 

"The nice thing here is that you don't need to worry about driving people away with a big pitch (as long as you're nice about it), since they've already bought and finished your book."

I actually got negative reviews on my first two books about the donation appeal which had more guilt based / 'let me describe the suffering' arguments, and since then I've systematically tried to make them very positive.  

Hi Tim,

I think your note is well written already but if you wanted to take the effectiveness angle, you could write something like the below (and included a shameless plug for GWWC below but OFTW, TLYCS or GiveWell would be equally good). Not sure if it's better than what you have now, but another option at least.

 

“I want to remind you that each of us have the power to make the world a better place by helping those who need it most.

Did you know that a donation of $4500 to the Against Malaria Foundation, who provide insecticide treated bednets for malaria prevention, is enough to save a child’s life?

And although you may not be able to donate that amount right now, over your lifetime, it’s likely you could donate this much or even much more, and save someone’s life. There will be one more person out there, able to live a full life because of you.

I have received many heartwarming emails from my readers who tell me they are also choosing to be part of making this world a better, safer and healthier place for everyone. 

So join me in giving whatever amount you are comfortable with, and together we can create a brighter future for the world.

To donate to and learn more about highly effective charities like Against Malaria Foundation, visit GivingWhatWeCan.org

"I have received many heartwarming emails from my readers who tell me they are also choosing to be part of making this world a better, safer and healthier place for everyone. "

Thanks, I particularly like this line

It's nice. Have you considered alternative versions?

Also, it's not clear to me what you're actually aiming for here. Do you just want people to donate more money  to DwB? Have you considered that perhaps they are just shifting their "altruistic expenses" and so taking it away from other charities? Or do you want them to think more about charity?
 

I am very open to figuring out ways to also / instead mention speficially EA organizations

I think One for the World and TLYCS might be good starting points when you want "normies" to begin thinking about philanthropy in a more EA way.

Personal note: I remember five years ago I mentioned DwB in a comment in this forum; I was just taking GWWC Pledge and had focused on DwB, because it was easier for me. Some people sort of challenged my assumptions; I was a bit uncomfortable at first, but now I am grateful - they helped change my mind.

I think if it leads to a shift in altruistic expenses away from local charities, or actually from 95% of international charities, to DWB I don't see that as a bad outcome, but the goal is more to increase the total altruistic giving. 

What were the assumptions that were challenged about DWB for you?